Wonder WHY do you compare yourself? This post is for you. (ep. 5)

Have you always wondered why you compare yourself to others? Do you want to figure out how these tips from this series can apply to you?

Welcome to episode 5 of the blog series, "How to STOP comparing yourself to others."

This episode includes...

• The answer to the question: Why do I compare myself to others?

• Important tips

• Conclusion

PS. It's highly recommended that you check out the other posts in this series before you read this one.

Enjoy! 🥞☕

Wonder why you compare yourself? The answer is easy, it just ties into...

Validation

If you get anything from this blog series, it's this.

The reason why you are comparing yourself to others is because you're placing your worth on something external. 🌚

You're letting an external factor influence how much you validate yourself.

This can tie into any form of comparison.

• You're comparing your physical appearance? It's because you are placing your worth on your looks. 🎀

• You're comparing your test scores to others? It's because you are placing your worth on grades. 📃

And the list goes on...

https://pin.it/3b3ktIB

The thing is, we are already worthy and precious on the inside. All these external factors don't determine how worthy we are.

Think of a baby 👶. So adorable and precious right? The baby doesn't have to prove itself to anyone. It's already so beautiful and lovable.

So just keep that in mind, you are worthy and no other external factor can determine that for you. 💗

"Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are." - Ariana Grande

https://pin.it/7pJBhGRZe

Important Tips

Identify your triggers:

Ask yourself these questions ~

• In what situations do you compare yourself the most?

• What does that tell you about where you're placing your validation?

• What are some things you can say to yourself to replace those internal beliefs/thoughts?

Example:

• When I'm in a room filled with attractive people.

• This tells me that I'm placing my validation on my looks

• I could start to identify the beauty in myself (could be characteristics), and whenever compare myself I could use it as an opportunity to recognize my beauty.

Be specific:

Make sure to identify specifically what aspect of someone you're comparing yourself to. This will help you decide your next actions on how to change your thoughts.

Ex. I always compare my grades to other people.

Talk to yourself like how you would talk to a younger version of you.

Glance at a baby photo of yourself and ask yourself "would I judge her/him and compare her/him to other babies?"

The answer is no! You would never, because nobody would ever be mean to a baby. Give yourself the same compassion and kindness.

Quick Note

I'm so glad you came with me on this journey, I hope these tips helped! 🌹

A quick note before ending this blog series (Congrats!🎊 You reached the end!):

 It's very hard to control your every thought. It's impossible!

Learning these tips won't automatically vanish all your problems.

Once in a while, we will have a comparison thought (it is normal to have this!)

The tips I shared will simply help you take that thought by its root and shift it to a more positive light.

Sometimes it's best to just let the thought pass by just to release pressure on ourselves. ☁

Don't expect yourself to be completely comparison-free overnight!

You got this <3.

Sources

 https://openup.com/blog/comparing-ourselves-to-others/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CHumans%20are%20'social%20animals',improve%20our%20performance%20or%20position%E2%80%9D. 

https://pin.it/eIUnqan 

How to STOP comparing your characteristics and belongings to others (ep. 4)

Do you feel inferior because you think others are smarter, faster, kinder, etc? Do you compare your belongings to others? Do you feel unworthy if you don't have the trendiest clothes?

Welcome to episode 4 of the blog series, "How to STOP comparing yourself to others."

This episode will help you shift your thinking, and it includes 5 extra tips! This episode also includes examples that will help you apply these methods and tips.

PS. Make sure to check out the other episodes in this series!

Enjoy! 🌻☕

https://pin.it/49tMOod

Skill/Characteristic Comparison - ​"She is so much more intelligent than me"

This type of comparison is when you feel inferior to someone based on their "better" skills/characteristics.

Ex. Rory Gilmore is in your class, and the class grades for the finals are being passed around. You accidentally glance at Rory's grade on her desk and see her grade, which is an "A+." You are immediately overcome with jealousy.

"She is so much smarter than me! Ugh, I'm so dumb," you think to yourself, "Her life just seems so perfect."

Things you can say to yourself now: (5 extra new tips!)

• Admiration: "Well, I admire her productivity and how organized she is, maybe that's why she always gets high scores, I should probably implement that."

• The very fact that you see this special characteristic in people means that you can imagine it in yourself, which means you can achieve that characteristic.

• "Would I change places with her though? Sure she has good grades, but I don't have enough evidence to prove that her life is perfect. Plus, there are so many parts of my life that I love."

• This technique helps you realize that that person doesn't have a perfect life just because they have this one thing you want. It also helps you recognize the amazing things in your life.

• The good thing about this technique is that you can use it in response to any comparison thought.

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• Comparing yourself to yourself: "Well I got a B+! That is so much better than the C I got last time. I'm so proud of myself 😎"

• The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your past self, that's the goal!

• This technique will remind you of a time when you succeeded, proving to your mind that you can achieve things and become your best self.

• Using that person as inspiration: "Okay well this just shows that my goal is to get an A on the next test, Rory Gilmore will become my inspiration."

• Jealousy and comparison is a tell-tale sign that you want that thing that the other person has.

• This thought sets a clear vision in your head and helps you manifest whatever desire you're imagining.

https://pin.it/6FbKN86oz

• Facts: "Sure I got a B+ on this singular test, but that doesn't define my intelligence at all. I am part of the quiz bowl at my school, and I have gotten numerous trivia questions correct, even winning 1st place in a competition."

• You can use your previous experiences to disprove your negative perception of yourself, it works!

• Valuing your characteristics"She's smart, but I'm creative and funny."

• Some characteristics come easy to some people and difficult to others.

• This thought shows that you have other amazing characteristics that define you, but that doesn't make you less than others, it just makes you unique!

• I know it's corny, but it would be boring if everyone had the same personality.

https://pin.it/4RDx0WBNR

Belongings Comparison - ​"Her clothes are way prettier than mine."

This type of comparison is when you feel inferior to another person based on their belongings or clothes. It may seem silly, but I know I have also faced this type of comparison.

Ex. You are walking down the street and you see Barbie with the most gorgeous outfit ever. You are immediately overcome with jealousy.

"I wish I had those clothes. I hate my clothes 😔"

Things you can say to yourself in this moment:

• Admiration "I admire the style and seamlessness of her clothes.

• Using that person as inspiration "This tells me that I want better clothes, I'm going to research what style I like and try to save money to buy it."

• "Sure she has nice clothes, but I wouldn't switch my life with her life just because of her clothes. I have no idea what problems she has in her life."

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Thanks for reading!

Next episode: Wonder WHY you compare yourself? This post is for you. (Includes other tips + conclusion)

Post date: 1/28 @ 10 AM EST (add to your reminders if you're interested!)

How to STOP comparing your beauty to others (ep. 3)

Do you constantly feel insecure because you compare your looks to others? Do you feel like you will never be pretty?

Welcome to episode 3 of the blog series, "How to STOP comparing yourself to others."

This episode will help you stop comparing your looks to others and shift your thinking completely.

Also, subscribe if you're interested in getting notified immediately whenever I publish a post! (Scroll down to the bottom of this post to subscribe)

Enjoy! 🎀🍵

Beauty Comparison - "She is so much better looking than me"

cottonbro studio, Pexels

I think we've all faced this, we're walking down a hallway/street and we see the most perfect, gorgeous, breathtaking person.

"I wish I could be like her. She is absolutely gorgeous."

"I wish I could have his eyes" Or "I wish I could have her nose"

Like how could we ever compare to her/him?

The thing is we don't have to compare ourselves to them.

Everyone is uniquely beautiful. Beauty is abundant, not scarce.

Think of the 2 most attractive people you've seen or know about.

In this example, I'm just using Total Drama Island custom/real characters (hehe.)

Sofia Dawn

https://pin.it/4C53xFH

https://pin.it/6X2jqHD

Do they look the same?

No, they both have strikingly different features, but they are still beautiful in their own way.

You see, there is no one singular, strict form of beauty. We are beautiful in our unique way. This shows how if you think someone is beautiful, that doesn't necessarily mean you're ugly.

“The Book of Moods: How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life” by Lauren Martin

~ 🩰 ~

Beauty Standards

It may be easy to slip back into comparing our beauty when we don't fit society's beauty standards.

Just remember that these standards are so destructive.

You have unique inner and outer beauty and no set of 'standards' can deviate from that.

Instead of getting society to accept and love you, it's time you take matters into your own hands and accept and love yourself.

This is your life, and nobody can demoralize you just because you don't fit into constrictive 'standards.'

https://pin.it/7tpzSmA

Try this: List 5 features that you find beautiful within yourself

I love my... (smile, eyes, body, fingers, etc)

This is SO helpful, especially on days when you are feeling insecure about yourself. It's an easy starting step to start recognizing your beauty 💐.

Also, loving every part of your appearance is difficult and takes time, but concentrating on the parts of yourself that you love can help propel you further to achieving your goal of loving yourself.

It's kind of like how in life there are some annoying parts, however, there are also beautiful parts.

Focusing on the beautiful parts gives you a whole new positive perspective, and makes you a lot happier.

"Where attention goes, energy flows."

Beata Dudova, Pexels

Below are some statements that will help you rewire your beauty comparison thoughts to more helpful and supportive thoughts.

1. Turn your comparison thought into admiration 

What specifically do you like about this person's appearance? Is it the way they style their hair? Is it their beautiful eyes?

Identifying this turns your thought from:

 "Her hair is so much prettier than mine" to "I admire how fresh and textured her hair looks." 🤩

You can even compliment them out loud and ask questions about how they got their hair like that, and this applies to any feature!

2. "I see the beauty in them and I see it in me."

This phrase is similar to the happiness one, however this time you are specifically focusing on your beauty.

Acknowledging that yes that person is beautiful, but you are too! 💞

3. "3 positive traits that I have are..."

Beauty isn't just in appearance, it's more about your characteristics and personality.

I think in this world, we are often so caught up in our looks that we forget to acknowledge how deep, complex, and beautiful we are on the inside.

cottonbro studios, Pexels

Some Logic

You can read this short message out in your head whenever you are struggling with beauty comparison. After all, our mind will stay quiet after it listens to some ✨logic✨.

---

Hello, mind!

You're probably looking at others right now and comparing your looks to theirs.

And you're probably thinking that you look ugly compared to them.

But here's the thing!

You have no idea what you're looking like at this exact moment.

You could be looking like a literal queen/king right now, and you don't even realize it.

I will guarantee you, that someone may be looking at you right now and thinking that you look absolutely gorgeous.

You may respond to this by saying that you have seen yourself in pictures and you don't look that good.

But, think about the moon, so bright and gorgeous right?

 It looks so good in the shimmering night sky.

But in the pictures, it looks really bad and blurry.

This is proof that everything looks prettier in person than in a picture.

Also, in a picture, you only see yourself in a certain position at a certain time.

In real life, you are moving around and you have your personality and energy showcased which makes you 100x more beautiful.

If you can't physically see yourself IRL, then you don't have solid proof that you're ugly.

Lots of Love,

[Insert your name]

Quick polls 🤗

How often do you compare your looks to others?

• Frequently
• Often
• Occasionally
• Rarely

What content would you like to see more of?

• Mental Health 💞
• Recipes (for Food category) 🍰
• Productivity, study tips, etc 🤓
• Reviews/Recommendations for Books and Movies 📚

PS: I honestly still struggle with comparing my looks to others sometimes, but after learning these tips and methods, it's gotten a lot better. 💝

🍂🌹🌷🌻🌼🍃

Next episode: How to STOP comparing your characteristics and belongings.

Post date: 1/21 @ 10 AM EST (add to your reminders if you're interested!)